A Convenient Sickness?

Have you ever had something really unpleasant happen to you at an ironically convenient time? I mean, when you really think about it, has there ever been a time where you were even a little bit thankful for an unpleasant event, or maybe at least thankful that it didn’t happen at a different time?

It’s hard to think of a time like that, isn’t it? We’re really good at remembering the horrible timing of foul events in our lives. We may actually enjoy it; complaining about our dreadful circumstances to gain the attention and sympathy of others. Yet, when it comes to finding bits of joy in our hurts, we’re much less capable. Actually, capable might not be the right word. Perhaps “willing” would be a better fit. We don’t like to find joy in our hurts because it is hard; we want our hurt to go away, not to think about how it might be a blessing. We blind ourselves from the potential blessing of our circumstances with the discomfort of our present. We are so easily narrow-focused.

It was easy for me to be narrow-focused today. I helped my friend Joel move yesterday and almost as soon as I got home I burned up with a fever and almost every muscle in my body ached. I tried to sleep but the fever made my head spin at a million miles an hour. I did get some sleep, but when I woke up, I still felt awful. Actually, as I am writing this blog I still don’t feel that great (Although, the fever is gone and my body doesn’t hurt as bad). I felt sick all day. I wanted so bad for the day just to be over and for the sickness to go away. Oh, by the way, for those of you who don’t know Joel is the other member of this blogspot. Actually, I haven’t told him I am sick yet. Joel, if you are reading this, you should take some cold FX so you don’t get sick too :P. Ok, back to the blog. When I woke up this morning, I realized how much this sickness was going to ruin my day. I had a whole bunch of work I wanted to get done at the church, people I wanted to get together with, and little errands I wanted to get done. None of these were so much as attempted, let alone accomplished. However, when I looked outside my window, my perspective changed a little.

You know how when you wake up in the morning there’s a certain kind of light you’re expecting to be coming through your window? You know, the certain tone and colors of the sunrise through the drapes of your bedroom window that change every season? Well, being as it’s April right now, I was expecting to wake up to the nice warm oranges and reds of a spring sunrise. Instead, I woke up to a violently bright sea of white and grey. It wasn’t because I was sick and now I was hallucinating (although, a part of me kind of wishes I was). It was because during the night we had 20 cm of SNOW! Did I mention that it’s April? Oh, not just April, it’s April 29th… almost MAY! A little late to be having snow don’t you think? But when my eyes finally adjusted to the blinding sunlight reflecting off the dunes of snow on my front yard, I realized how blessed I was with the timing of my sickness. I mean, honestly, could there have been a more convenient time to be sick? There was a ton of snow outside at the end of April which means the roads would be horrific. More than that, the blowing snow would have been like sandpaper against your face, and mixed with the cold and wind chill, would have been a dreadful way to start the day. So here I was sitting in my room staring at the April winter wonderland, and I realized that even if I was not sick, I would be stuck at home all day. So there’s the first part of the blessing.
The second blessing that comes with my sickness is the reality that it didn’t take place at some other significant time, like my grad weekend or during the completion of my final papers. If I had been sick on an occasion like those, I would have been so upset. Thankfully, that was not the case. I was conveniently sick not then, but today.

Finally, my sickness gave me time to think and pray. There is little else you can do when you are sick but to think and pray. You’re likely stuck in bed or on the couch all day. You could watch TV, but it would probably give you a headache before long. So besides sleeping, there’s really not much else to do than to think and to pray. Today I had the opportunity to think and to pray quite a bit (along with sorting some files and pictures on my computer, for which I am also grateful). I had the opportunity to talk with the Creator of all things more than I usually do on a given day. For that I am thankful.

You see, it is so easy to look at what’s wrong in our life. Granted, this fallen world brings a lot of unpleasant and uncomfortable circumstances. However, with an eternal perspective the troubles of our present fade in the light of our connection to Christ. A focus on eternity allows us to see the significance of each moment God has granted to us, and the finitude of our hurts and pains.

When we see God in every moment, we find the fragments of joy in our brokenness.

How has God bless you today?

To know the music

It’s all around us. In front of us. Behind us. In the air. In the ground. Yes, even within our own bodies. Yet, the funny thing is, we so easily miss it. I wonder why that is. Why is it so easy to miss? Some may say it is too quiet, but I don’t think that is the issue. Actually, If I’m going to be honest with you, I think it has much less to do with the volume and much more to do with our listening. In fact, I think that there are times when the volume is piercing and undeniable, and still we will go to the effort of blocking it out and ignoring it all together. And then, when it is quiet or perhaps even silent, we wonder why it isn’t louder instead of leaning in and listening carefully.

We don’t want to hear it until it is convenient. When things are going well, it’s mostly a nuisance. When things are going terrible, it’s never what we want to hear. When we are desperate we listen to everything else. Even when we are at the top of our game, at the peak of the mountain, we still go searching for something else to give us direction. Tell me, does it shock you like it shocks me that when our hopes and dreams come crashing down upon us we don’t know which direction to point our eyes and ears?

We begin listening to everything else, and it consumes us. It consumes us so much that we don’t even recognize the very thing which has always been all around us in every way. We may even fall so deep as to replace what should be heard with something entirely different, thinking the two are the exact same thing. And so I ask again, does it shock you?

It’s easy to miss. But you know, it’s also easy to see if you focus your attention. When you filter your attention on what is good, you will be able to see it; not only in the present, but in a way that you will know it was with you all along.

It’s not always loud. It’s not always audible. I empathize with you if you are in a place where you feel like you can’t hear it. Whether you are there or not, let me encourage you:

The silent symphony of God’s love is love without words, for words aren’t enough.

Eternal life...

... is to know the music